What is Love?

LOVE. That 4 letter word... cherished by many, despised by others. So, what is it? Why is it that saying that word can bring up so many different emotions inside each of us?
LOVE. Let me tell you a little bit about love. Is it those butterflies you get when you see that hottie walk through the door of your class? Is it that tingly sensations that surges through your whole body when that hottie holds your hand?
I, personally, do not believe that's love. Hear me out... or a better way to say that is I don't personally believe that's real love yet. Those are steps that can lead to love. My proposition is that LOVE comes from a lot of things a person does and ways you act with each other that you like. I'm still a hopeless romantic, don't get me wrong. But I don't believe that you can fall in love with a person at "first sight." Rather, I'd like to phrase that initial falling as "falling in liking with them..." ya feel?
The point I'm getting at, is that true love, the deep real stuff we see in our parents and older married couples we know, has grown and been nourished for a long time. That love is the real love that we all strive for. It's the love that's portrayed as something that can just happen within two characters over the span of a 2 hour movie, however in reality it's much much more than that. True love is made up of a lot of different components: mutual respect, responsibility for one another, deep care, and care for the other's well-being to name a few.
This kind of "love" we're talking about is one that is not changed within the course of a few hours, whether over a fight, distance, etc. No, this love is enduring, deep connection that's been built between two people because of the things they've faced and took on together.
After all, which love would you consider most valuable? One in which you find the other person very attractive, feel good when they hold your hand and kiss you, and yep that's pretty much it... or rather, would it be the type of love that you feel comfortable, respected, and deeply cared about? (And at that level, you'd still get the lovely hand holding and goodnight kisses from each other)... So, which one's the winner?
I feel that LOVE is often such an overused term in our society. Don't get me wrong... I'm not saying that it's not important to love those around us & find reason to care for them and love them. But, I am saying that particularly in relationships, premature love is too often mistake for mature love, and finding someone simply attractive is way too often the only thing keeping a relationship together.
That's not how it should be! At all!
Love comes from a deep sense of self respect, respect for your significant other, and honestly just time. Love takes time! It takes time to get to dig into their past and lives (without over bearing them on the first date... because trust me I've had that. And yeah, that ain't love). It takes time to really begin to understand the person and get to know them: Their different quirks, personality, way they laugh, things they find funny or embarrassing, the whole shebang really. LOVE takes TIME.
Once you do have that solid basis of a friendship first, too, that's when true love can grow. You don't need to base a relationship solely off of the physical stuff, because that will wear out a relationship like no other. People grow, our bodies change, and reality hits. You need to have a solid relationship with a person whom you can go through your day-to-day crazy activities with, and then sit down with each other and just be able to talk like best friends. Someone whom you can share your deepest desires, concerns, worries, and goals... because you know that they'll listen to you and get you. They'll understand you completely, and you'll understand them completely.
Love takes time. It takes complete commitment and fidelity to one another. It takes mutual respect and care. It takes deep concern for the well-being of the other person. That, to me, is what true love is... and nothing can ever compare to the greatness and happiness it can bring you and your significant other.

Born That Way?

We've seen the growing trend of trying to change the gender roles we're given greatly increase in society today. In class this past week, we viewed a film about gender roles, including feminist's views on those roles. It was very intriguing, as well as almost quite aggravating to listen to women blurt out their opinions about how they don't feel they're being treated "fair" and "equal" as men today because they want to do the exact same things men are "allowed" to do. Now, I try not to be a rude person because I hate conflict. I avoid it at all costs, but I also do believe in the importance of being upfront and stating your opinion, because we're all entitled to our own opinions am I right? So... here's mine.

Many people struggle with same-sex attraction, it is a difficult thing many of us have to deal with. I greatly admire and applaud those who come out with these views in an attempt to discuss them and wish to overcome them. It is a very difficult matter that I personally cannot judge, and believe no one truly can except for our almighty God. It's a matter that is very touchy and sensitive, and thus I do not wish to go into parts of it too deeply, because that's not what I'm here for. I want to talk, however, about the importance in each of us having the divine, unique role which we were assigned before we came to this Earth. That role was whether we would individually take on the responsibility God gives us to be a man or a woman; son or daughter; father or mother in not only this life but into the eternities. 

We are not  assigned genders as a "mistake" or just a "coincidence."

I cannot even bear that belief just by seeing the light in a baby's eyes from the moment they are born. Each child has a unique sense of worth and individuality to each of them, there is no possible way that they aren't given that specific gender for many specific purposes. It just doesn't happen that way. Why? Because we are not accidents. We have been created for divine roles and responsibilities in this life, and have agreed to those roles and responsibilities before we came to Earth and took on bodies to go through mortality. We are spirit sons and daughters, divinely appointed by God. We are no "coincidences" or mistakes. Therefore, we cannot choose when we feel like being a man or a woman, because that decision is not ours. Rather, it is our decision to choose how well we will live up to our callings and plans God has specifically crafted for our lives! Why has he done this? Because he loves us, more than we will ever be able to comprehend in this life. 

Briefly tying this sort-of-tangent back into gay marriage, I think it's crucial to understand the specific roles we've been given as either a son or a daughter of God, so we can understand the importance and perfect plan of God of having a man and woman, with their natural differences, marry and rear up a family. It is these differences we see naturally come about in men and women that make the world go round... honestly. It is the differences in the way we think and see the world that allow each of us to grow off of the other, and to see the world in new light and perspectives so we can better ourselves. The solid fact is: men and women think different! They just do. It's in the chemical make up of their brains. This difference is what allows each of us to find true happiness in family life, those differences that when we work together to grow closer to one another and solve them, we are able to be happy. Truly happy, even joyful. 

Celebrating 20 Years of "The Family: A Proclamation to the World"

Here is a video I found from LDSLiving.com. It was created by an LDS family, and I absolutely love it!
I think it adds a lot onto my last post about the Decline of the Family, by showing the important and sacred responsibility we have been given by God to care for and raise up families in righteousness. I hope you enjoy it! :)

Decline of the Family

Fun fact: did you know that almost all of the research we see done on the family, is stemming from the United States? That's right... that country I (and possibly most of you) live in?
Scary fact: did you know that those trends published from the studies done, show an increase in pre-marital sex, couples participating in cohabitation... and many more factors discussed later... and a decrease in the stability of a traditional family?
Now, when I say traditional on this website, I'm referring to a family made up of a mother and a father... wife and husband... bound together by law, raising their family. No family is ever perfect, that I completely understand.
Because I attend a school under the direction of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, AKA mormons, I am also taught many factors that I do strongly believe go into this traditional family.
In class this past week, we read and studied The Family Proclamation . In a section of this Proclamation given to us through revelation by God, it states this:
"THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. "

With that being said, let's take a brief moment to look at the statistics and trends of marital and family relationships that are seen today. These were discussed in class, and I took brief notes on what was being taught.  Trends are as follows:
Pre-marital sex: increase
Delay of Marriage: increase (as compare to history)
        Average age of marrying today: women- 26, men- 28; within LDS culture: women-24, men-26
Living Alone: increase
Children out of wedlock: increase
Percentage of Mothers Employed: increase (understandably with today's economy)
Cohabitation: increase
Birth Rates: decrease
Average Household Size: decrease

Now, my goal of this blog post is not seem so pessimistic. However, facts are facts. The point I'm trying to get across with all of this information we've studied, is that the decline of the family is real. It is happening and we can't avoid it. Society and government is trying to shape something that should not be shaped by anyone but ourselves and God- working together to create a stable family under his guidance. As stated in the proclamation: "The Family is ordained of God." It is a divine institution that I believe can shape the quality of our lives. The way in which we live is determined by our intermediate circle of friends, acquaintances, and family around us.
It is not a subject that should by ANY means be taken lightly. It is our responsibility to protect the divine institution of the family, because if the family crumbles, society will undoubtedly crumble thereafter. Your choices in your family don't just affect you and those within that bond-- it affects society all around us and the choices that we allow our elected leaders to make.
There is hope! We must realize the potential we each have to create a stable home to live in. God has given us each this divine responsibility, and many opportunities and blessings lie in each of our homes! Opportunities to teach and learn. When we realize this, I believe it's then that we're able to realize the full potential and responsibilities we have as mothers and fathers, husbands and wives, and children. We can succeed in a world of falling morals, and our homes can be a place of safety in this world. However, it's up to us to determine the quality and value of our family, and thus not allow society to shape that view.